Rockets, pirates and proper etiquette

Your first day of training starts at 7 am sharp. You hardly had any sleep, even though you are dead tired from the trip and finding your way around in the totally new environment. You barely had any food or coffee, and you are running to find the Training Room.

The first training is Safety, which is basically the first time you start learning how to be a Seaman. It is a sort of military style lecture and communication. But you feel like you are back in high school. Suddenly, at this age and with this experience you start from beginning and you have exams… again you do not know the subjects. Of course, there is always a few people in the room with maritime school and you would love to have them as a mates. 👀😂

Eyes and ears wide open as I listen to the Safety Officer explaining to us how to shoot a rocket in case we end up in rubber dinghy in the middle of the fucking ocean. My honest thought is that I need a bible more in that situation. Also pondering if we all have a positive thinking and meditate harder maybe it will never happen to us. :D :D I am looking around the room and checking who are the people I am going to spend my last seconds on this Earth with.

Next comes Security Officer, well let me put it this way … The most important thing to remember from this lecture is that “if you see something say something” … pppirates!!!! NO PANIC! If pirates ever try to come on board armed with AK’s and grenade launchers do not worry because we have adequate defense, we will take our water hoses which are strategically placed around the ship and splash the shit out of them. 👀❤😂😂😂😂😂💨💨💨💨💨💨💨

After that comes Environmental Officer with amazingly cheerful information. We are happy to learn that all garbage on the ship is recycled, so it is very important to put straws and paper cups and our condoms in appropriate boxes for recycling to keep our oceans pristine and clean. Then he continues with the fact that they are whole islands of garbage roughly the size of France in our oceans. Yikes 👀

Next in line is Training Specialist (this authors position), with a pile of information ranging from the who is who and what they do on the ship, to don’t pick your nose in front of the guests. ☝🙊😂 But the most important thing to learn in this lecture is regarding to sexual consent and drinking tea. Please watch the video carefully. (2) Tea and Consent - YouTube

To be continued …

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